Engagement is Getting Quieter: Why Your Most Meaningful Metrics Might Be Invisible

Private engagement is on the rise and it’s reshaping the way we think about content, community, and success.

in Engagement

Graphic showing two people on their smart phones. Between them is a giant smart phone showing a text message exchange, though there are no decipherable words, just lines.

Social media used to be all about the likes. The retweets. The views. The public-facing numbers that told a story anyone could see.

But these days, some of the most important conversations are happening behind the scenes.

What is private engagement?

Private engagement refers to the interactions that don’t show up in your public metrics.

Think:

  • DMs and message replies
  • Story reactions and responses
  • Group chats
  • Comments in niche communities (like Discord)

These aren’t your typical vanity metrics. They’re harder to track, but often more personal, intentional and powerful.

Private engagement can also include public metrics.

Think: Shares.

Consider this scenario: You see a funny Reel on Instagram. Instead of tagging your friend in the comments of the Reel, you hit the share button and either DM it to your friend or send it through a text. ✨Privately✨

Sound familiar?

Why is it happening?

More and more people are engaging on social media in this way. If you’re like me, you probably never gave much thought to your change in behavior. Or maybe it’s been an intentional shift in the way you engage with content on social media.

Either way, Instagram data shows a “significant increase in private sharing over the past year, as users become more selective about what they share publicly versus privately.”

My guess? As messy millennials who bore the brunt of setting the standard for “what not to do” on social media, and Gen Z who learned from our mistakes, we’re all a little more cautious about how we show up online and what that might say about us.

And it’s affecting Instagram’s algorithm. The more shares your post has, the more likely Instagram is to keep pushing it out to users (especially on the Explore page).

Disclaimer: Instagram’s algorithm isn’t as simple as “shares = viral.” Learn about the many success indicators that go into Instagram’s algorithm.

Why this shift matters

Here’s what private engagement isn’t: A loss of visibility or connection to followers.

Here’s what it is: A more intimate endorsement of your brand.

When someone moves a conversation to a DM instead of publicly commenting on your post, it means:

  • They value what you’re sharing, even if they don’t “engage” in the traditional sense.
  • They might not want the whole world to see their reaction.

This matters because it should change the way you (1) think about creating content and (2) define success.

So…should we ignore traditional metrics?

Definitely not. They still help guide strategy, show what’s resonating at scale, and offer insight into trends. But as we enter a more private, nuanced era of social, it’s important to broaden how we define success.

Some of our best-performing pieces in terms of impact don’t always lead in impressions, they lead in responses. And sometimes that’s a better metric.

What you can do

If you’re navigating this shift in your own work, here are a few things we recommend:

  • Track private engagement like you would public metrics. Log messages and common questions. Screenshot thoughtful replies. Look for patterns in posts with high shares.
  • Respond with care. If someone takes the time to reach out, meet that energy. It builds trust (and community).
  • Design for depth, not just reach. Create content that encourages private engagements.
  • Talk to your audience, not just at them. That means Q&As, polls, DMs, and those little Story sliders (they work!).

What we’re doing

This year, we’re focusing on content that’s shareable, asking things like:

  • Would an alum text this to a friend?
  • Would a student DM this to their roommate?
  • Should we add a poll or slider to this Instagram Story?
  • Should we say “DM this to ___” versus “comment below?”
  • How can we take what seems to be a simple post to the next level by providing more value in the caption that will encourage shares and private engagement?

By providing more value in our posts, whether it be in the actual media or the text, we’re hoping we can tap into this behavior change.

At CSU, our job isn’t just to rack up numbers. It’s to connect with the Ram community. Whether they’re undergrads checking in from the Oval or alumni watching from halfway around the world, we’re here to meet them where they are. And more and more, that’s somewhere private.

Because in 2025, the best engagement might not be visible. But it’s absolutely valuable.